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Enneagram

Relationship between type 3 and type 8

The chameleon and the leader

Margaery Tyrell (GOT)
Tommy Shelby (Peaky Blinders)

Attraction

3 is attracted to 8’s self-confidence, competence, success and power, as well as the fact that 8 does not worry about what others think of him.
8 is attracted to 3’s charisma, obvious self-confidence, adaptability and sociability.
8 can be very generous and attentive when he feels comfortable. This can resonate with 3 and make him act similarly.
3 has a very flexible and adaptable nature and can help 8 be more collaborative with others.
Both types are ambitious and determined. They both follow their goals with great energy and admire it in the other.

Points where to be careful

8 struggles with trusting people, and in order to feel safe in his relationship, he will put 3’s loyalty and honesty to the test. He needs to know 3 inside and out before putting his guard down. 8 has a tender heart that he protects. 3 can struggle with 8’s need for control, and rather than confronting him, in fear of 8, 3 will run away or be dishonest. Each of these reactions will only make 8 more wary, and as soon as he doubts 3’s trust, the relationship may deteriorate. Both struggle with expressing their internal needs because they both repress their emotional center, and can thus become manipulative in order to get what they want. 3 can start to perceive 8 as a spiteful tyrant, and 8 can start to perceive 3 as a liar, not worthy of his trust.