4 is attracted to 9’s tolerance, patience, reassurance, idealism and listening skills. 9 is attracted to 4’s empathy, passion, energy and emotional depth. Both are sensitive, friendly, empathetic, romantic and like finding that in others. 4 feels completely accepted by 9, so much so that his fears of abandonment are assuaged. When 4 gives him attention, 9 feels very important and loves to be motivated by 4’s energy and passion.
4 pays exceptional attention to what he is missing, and with time, can become more demanding and critical towards 9. 9 gives unconditional acceptance to 4 and expects it in return. 4 wants excitement and intensity, while 9 wants comfort. This is causes a conflicting problem. 4 can be dissatisfied with how relaxed the relationship is, and disappoint 9 who will close in on himself. 9 can perceive 4 as being too demanding, selfish, critical, dramatic and emotionally unstable. 4 can perceive 9 as being too disorganised, lazy, irresponsible, inefficient, boring and stubborn.