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Enneagram

Relationship between type 3 and type 9

The chameleon and the peacemaker

Jay Gatsby (The Great Gatsby)
Jane Bennet (Pride and Prejudice)

Attraction

3 is attracted to 9’s tolerance, calm, attentiveness, openness and adaptability.
9 is attracted to 3’s energy, self-confidence, productivity and efficiency.
9 enables 3 to relax, be himself, without needing to worry about his image.
3 helps 9 to be more active and motivated to develop projects.
They are both very sociable, dislike conflict and can form a harmonious relationship.

Points where to be careful

3 can view 9 as being too indecisive, passive, slow, easily distracted and stubborn.
9 can view 3 as being too neglectful of the relationship, impatient and too preoccupied with his career and image.
Neither like conflict and tend to avoid talking about what is not working between them. Thus, problems can last a long time without being solved. 3 can bury himself in his work and 9 can completely close in on himself, waiting for a reaction from 3.